SHATTERING THE LIFE OF A 3YR OLD

The Judge Daniel D’Alessandro Case FM-09-1928-14A

After serving the divorce papers to my ex wife she decided to take my son away as punishment. To do that she filed a temporary support motion asking for 93% of my net income. Judge Daniel D’ Alessandro awarded her 84% of my net income leaving me with $389 per month above the poverty guidelines to live in Hudson County, New Jersey.

I quit my job and left the country the first time due to my going bankrupt and being threatened with jail time. After finding some financial support from family and dedicated to go to jail for my son in protest, I resumed my efforts to getting back into his life. My wife requested the stripping of my parental rights and total alienation from my son. Judge D'Alessandro confined me to supervised visitation without conducting a parental rights custody hearing.

My ex-wife requested my arrest for not paying in its entirety the un-constitutional debt Judge D’Alessandro had tied around my neck. I lost my second job after Judge Daniel D’Alessandro threw me out of my apartment leaving me homeless. There is currently an arrest warrant on my head for not “surrendering” my passports. Judge D’Alessandro has banned me from even calling my 3yr old son on Skype. That is the bottom line...

The psychological or emotional abuse of men refers to behaviors that aim to degrade, humiliate, and shame the man, to make him feel useless, incapable, guilty, and finally diminish his sense of self.

Such behaviors on behalf of women are insults, the intentional severance of verbal communication with her husband, the exercise of control on every aspect of the man’s life, jealousy/possessiveness (even with family and friends), sarcasm, the constant negative criticism.

For the past 6 years of my marriage I had been on my knees. I’ve had days where I didn’t want to get out of bed because I didn’t feel joy, or purpose, or even life in any piece of me. I was trapped in a terrible marriage with a woman that I had nothing in common with. A woman who was most of the time bitter, talking in a derogatory manner about me, judging, criticizing... Yet, I had decided that this was my life’s choice and I had made up my mind to make it work.

 

3 years ago my ex wife convinced me that the reason she behaved that way was because she wanted a kid. I trusted and respected her wish besides my best judgment. We also decided that she could pause her career for a year and care for the kid while I cover all expenses, so she quit her job too. Unfortunately after she conceived, her father, age 72, abandoned her mother for another woman. My ex-wife was devastated and she turned against me. She started testing me, being over-jealous, possessive, disrespecting me, insulting my parents, rejecting me….it was obvious that she did not love me.

 

It has been shown that women who experience such intense social and interpersonal conflicts are affected by mood swings and a greater probability of inflicting psychological abuse to their spouses. This behavior reflects their internal conflict and insecurities. Such women are aggressive against their spouses considering them responsible for anything negative that happens to them, they have non-realistic expectations and demands of them, they consider them responsible for their own negative feelings.

 

Such women see bad intentions in every action that their spouses perform and make sure to degrade them in every occasion. They often assume the role of the victim and many times gain the support of family and friends who do not know what the truth really is.

 

So things became even worse. Arguments resulted in my wife often verbally abusing my son in order to hurt me. I recall one day, after we had an argument, she approached my 2yr old son in my presence, kneeled in-front of him, grabbed him by the shoulders, stared at him in the eyes, and told him “your father does not love you, let’s get out of here.”

 

My ex-wife then started refusing to go back to work. 3 years passed and she was dancing around the subject while I could see I would be unable to provide basic schooling for my child after he turned 3.

 

 

Certification of my ex-wife, August 27 2014, paragraph 13:

Since our son was born, the status quo has been the Plaintiff is the primary wage earner, and I provide care for our three year old son and our home. I do believe that I will seek full-time employment in the future however, this will not occur for some time, and only after we relocate to Maryland.“

 

And I was all in pieces. Pieces here and there with no sense of self. No sense of unity or coherence.

 

Desperation.

 

Pain.

 

Misery.

 

The only thing that filled my days with joy was my son. I spent hours with him, hanging posters of the alphabet on the walls, teaching him numbers, the names of animals, playing with him, teaching him how to ride the scooter, showing him how to ride a bicycle, cooking with him, taking him to the pool, staring at his eyes, playing the guitar with him, teaching him how to play the piano, sleeping and hugging and doing all the wonderful things that a loving father has an instinct of doing. But that joy was overshadowed by bitterness and a cloud of hatred spewed out of my wife’s body.

 

 

 

So, I consulted two child psychologists on whether I should get a divorce or withstand my marriage. Robert Karen was one of them, author of “Becoming Attached” and a person my ex wife sent me to. He told me verbatim: “Staying in your marriage will not be especially good for your child. Who wants a depressed father, a bitter father, a resentful father, a father who feels he lost out on life because he got stuck with someone who he did not want to be with?” Both advised me to proceed with a divorce and create a better future for my child. However, both advised me that I should be collocated with him.

 

In 2013 I announced to my wife my intention to get a divorce, a joint legal and joint residential custody divorce. By that time, I had gone through great efforts to pay all of our tax debt, all of our credit card debt, one third of my wife’s student loans, I had refinanced our mortgage, and had secured over $40,000 in savings. I told her that we did not have to actually get a divorce right away. I would move to another apartment in close proximity, she could keep enjoying my health insurance (since she kept being voluntarily unemployed for the past 3 years) and I would keep covering all her expenses except for $800 per month which I was falling sort. I would spend 3 overnights a week with my son. I informed her that with the help of a mediator the final divorce after a couple of years would cost us just under $2,500.

 

My wife’s response was to threaten me to take my son away to Maryland where “he would not consider you as his father anymore.”

 

 

Certification of my ex-wife, August 27 2014, paragraph 25:

It is respectfully requested that the Court allow me to relocate to Maryland with the child….Prior to moving to New Jersey, I lived in Maryland for 7 years. Our roots, community, employment contacts, and support system are in Maryland…..I believe this living arrangement would aid Alexander in acclimating to parenting time. ”

 

 

When a divorce is issued, both parties should be able to move on equitably and start a new life. However in NJ archaic draconian divorce laws exist to strip one party or the other of their dignity, self respect, finances and in many cases their very freedom.

 

Over the next 6 months my ex-wife filed a temporary support motion that cost us over $35,000 in lawyer fees and depleted all of our savings, that motion granted her $5,700 out of my $7,130 net income (84%) leaving me unable to survive, she requested the Court to prevent me from seeing my son, she requested the court to order me to undergo a 1 year psychological evaluation during which I could only see my son under her supervision, she requested the Court to let her relocate to Maryland away from me, when I failed to hand over 84% of my net income she asked for my imprisonment, the Court ordered my handing over my passports and threatened me with imminent jail time if I did not magically come up with tens of thousands in alleged debt to my ex wife, the Court finally kicked me out of my apartment with a 24hr notice leaving me homeless and unable to hold onto my job. The Court recently issued an arrest warrant on my behalf because I refused to hand over my passports.

 

 

 

Brad Micklin (on behalf of my son’s mother), transcript November 14, pg. 11 line 25:

I would ask Judge since he’s acknowledged under oath that he’s failed to comply with the order, not only for the rent but for the PL and for my legal fees, that your Honor award that come Monday, if he’s not up to date, that a warrant for his arrest issue. I’m pretty sure he’ll get the money by then, Judge.”

 

Brad Micklin, transcript November 14, pg. 23 line 16:

I just want to note, that I will be seeking his arrest and continued confinement on Tuesday.”

 

Judge D’Alessandro, transcript November 18, pg. 18 line 24

The doubt I have is this, whether or not you will pay what you’re ordered to pay if I remand you to the County jail now and give you a phone call.”

 

 

My mother tried to help us by supporting my ex wife financially while I was unemployed, my mother paid my ex-wife’s rent, student loans, and other expenses. My ex-wife responded to that act of support by asking the Court to include my mother as a co-plaintiff and hold her responsible for the temporary support order!

 

 

Certification of my ex-wife, November 12 2014:

 

It is respectfully requested that the Plaintiff’s mother be joined in this matter as a necessary party. Without joining Plaintiff’s mother, I will be unable to receive complete relief.”

 

During these 6 months, I lost my job twice, I have been unable to see my son, and fled the state of NJ after being thrown on the streets by Judge D’Alessandro. And all of that, because I pursued a better future for myself and for my son by exercising my legal right to a divorce while striving to provide the same quality of life to my ex-wife as she enjoyed before the separation.

 

I have now lost all sense of purpose and meaning. Not because I do not have a high-paying job, not because I don’t live in NJ anymore. I have the ability to thrive wherever I go and I have now built a life that I could only dream of a few years ago (I have a low paying job but lots of money is not a prerequisite to happiness).

 

But, I have been stripped off of a part of myself; I am missing what is the most valuable thing for every parent, my son. Any dreams I ever had of raising him a certain way were violently taken away from me. And what hurts me most is not my sense of loss, but his sense of loss. He has been the victim of a woman who is bitter and a Family Court system that is corrupt. My ex wife was not after a high alimony, she was not after a high child support, she was after whatever would ensure destroyed all chance that I would live a happy and free life. Above her son’s emotional health was her hatred towards me.

 

 

 

I now walk the streets and I sob every time I see a toddler walking with his father, every time I hear a child’s voice I turn my head away and walk faster. I cry over children’s books in bookstores. I break down after I visit friends that have toddlers. And there is nothing different than when I was living in NJ. My wife had prevented me there as well via a Court order from seeing my son followed by my certain imprisonment.

 

Certification of my ex-wife, August 27 2014, paragraph 6:

 

The Plaintiff does not have the ability to care for our son…..The Plaintiff should not be given physical custody of our son until he undergoes a psychological evaluation to confirm whether he is fit to care for our son. It is respectfully requested that the court provide me with sole legal custody of our son and grant me primary physical custody. Additionally, it is respectfully requested that the court deny Plaintiff’s request for joint physical custody and order the Plaintiff to undergo psychological evaluation. If the Plaintiff is then deemed able to care for our son, it is respectfully requested that the parties receive joint legal custody of Alexander and Plantiff’s shall receive liberal and reasonable parenting time each week, not to exceed 2-3 days per week and Plaintiff shall not receive overnight parenting time.”

 

I now see my son only in my dreams, and these are terrible dreams, these are nightmares where someone always takes him away from me. And I am sure that this is where my son sees me as well. All in the altar of hatred, jealousy, and bitterness .

I trusted the NJ Family Court system to protect my son.

Instead, this system emotionally raped and destroyed him for life, it scarred his soul in ways that only criminals could imagine damaging another human being. And I hold responsible for all of this Judge Daniel D’ Alessandro, the man who either fell victim of a devious and unethical lawyer (thus an incompetent Judge) or a man who made a deal with that lawyer for monetary or other reasons; a Judge who in my child’s eyes is a criminal, a man that deserves to be stripped of his rights and serve jail time, an orphan maker.

 

Judge D’Alessandro,

  1. Deprived me of my child, deprived my child of his right to have a father in his life.

  2. Made me pay more than I can afford in temporary support (84% of my net salary and then 87% of my new net salary).

  3. Refused to let me defend myself on my parental rights. Totally ignored my Nov 14 certification and my pleas to give me back the joint legal and residential custody of my son.

  4. Demanded my passports under threat of jail time and eventually issued an arrest warrant because I refused to hand them over.

  5. Left me homeless by kicking me out of my apartment with a 24hr notice.

  6. Forced me to quit my job by forcing me out of my residence under threat of imminent jail time.

  7. Granted my ex-wife’s request to add my mother as the co-plaintiff responsible to pay the unjust and criminal temporary support Judge D’Alessandro awarded the Defendant (my mother had helped my ex wife in the past few months to pay her rent).

I am requesting

  1. For Judge D’Alessandro to be removed from my case.

  2. For the ACJC to initiate an investigation on the real motive behind Judge D’Alessandro’s bias against and obsession with me and whether there is any illegal connection between him and Brad Micklin.

  3. For the final divorce trial to be postponed until a new Judge takes over and reassesses my case.

  4. For all orders made by Judge D’Alessandro on my case to be revoked while a new Judge rules on them anew.

  5. For my temporary joint legal and residential custody of my son to be reinstated.

  6. For the unconstitutional arrest warrant on my name to be lifted so that I am allowed to find again a high paying job and support my son and exercise my rights as an American citizen and a parent.

 

 

Certification of my ex-wife, July 16 2014:

I respectfully request the Court order the Plaintiff to pay all of my monthly Schedule A, B, and C expenses* and provide me with a reasonable weekly stipend Pendente Lite so that the status quo may continue and I can sufficiently live and meet my monthly expenses as well as properly protect my interests in this divorce case.

* $6,600/month, 92% of my net income.